Identifying What Is Victim Mentality
There are three types of victims in life; they are: 1. A person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of an accident, crime, or another event or action. 2. A person who is tricked or duped. Or 3. A person who becomes helpless and passive in the face of ill-treatment or misfortune.
In my article we are going to look into what is Victim Mentality- Part 1. Victim Mentality also called victim syndrome or victim complex, is a person who likely sees themselves a victim in most situations.
Three Key Beliefs To The Victim Mentality:
*Bad things always happen and they will keep happening
*Circumstances or other people are at fault
*What is the point of trying, when all my efforts fail.
The idea of victim mentality has been thrown around in pop culture and conversations so much, as to refer to a person who is stuck in negativity and in turn, forces it upon others.
It is because of its usage, there is a stigma surrounding the term that health professionals avoid using it.
Although, people who are emotionally trapped in a state of victimization often express a lot of negativity; it is extremely important to realize the significant distress and pain one feels to fuel this mindset.
What Does The Victim Mentality Look Like
“veer into the belief that everyone else caused their misery and nothing they do will ever make a difference.” Vicki Botnick, who is a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) from Tarzana, California says, explaining how people identify with the victim role. This in turn, leaves them feeling vulnerable, which results in difficult behaviors and emotions.
Let’s take a look at some of those:
*No Accountability – The whole “It wasn’t me” was not a term Shaggy started and it starts with a lack of accountability.
This might involve:
*Always making excuses
*Not taking responsibility
*Reacting to life with “It’s not my fault”
The thing is, I have seen bad things happen to people who do not deserve it, and it often happens enough that it is understandable when some start to believe the universe hates them.
Another thing, is that many situations DO involves some degree of personal responsibility. For example, consider a job loss; while it is possible to lose a job without good cause, there can be underlying factor(s) that play a part.
A person can very likely end up facing the same situation because they failed to consider those reasons and therefore may not learn or grow from it.
*Can Not or Will Not seek possible Solutions- I have always said it is perfectly okay to have a pity party or spending some time wallowing in misery, for it is a time to self reflect, process and acknowledge painful emotions. It is NOT okay to stay in this frame of mind. It should have a definite end point because this will hinder your thinking process and therefore, your actions.
People who have been victimized may show a little interest in trying to change or make changes, even if that small action lead to improvement. They may reject offers of help and can seem to continue to only be interested in feeling sorry for themselves.
That is why it is important that this time period is a short one, so that they can begin healing and change.
*Feeling Powerless- A majority of people who feel victimized also believe that they lack power to change their situation. They do not like feeling low and would love for things to go their way. Unfortunately, from their perception, life continues to throw situations at them and they can do nothing but succeed or escape.
According to Botnick, “It’s important to be mindful of the difference between ‘unwilling’ and ‘unable’, explaining that some people make a conscious choice to shift blame and take offense. Although, in her practice, she commonly works with people who has experience deep-seated psychological pain, and that makes change an impossible task.
*Self-sabotage and Negative Self-talk-
People with victim mentality may internalize the negative messages by the challenges they face. Having the victim mentality supports the beliefs such as:
*”Everything that is bad, happens to me”
*”Why do anything about it? It changes nothing”
*”I deserve all the bad things that happen to me”
*”No one cares.”
With each new difficulty, these unhelpful ideas become fully intertwine into your inner monologue. Having this become a repeated cycle is one of the worst things a person can do, as the negative self-talk can damage resilience, which makes it harder for a person to jump back and heal proper.
People who believe in their self-talk often have an easier time at living it out which is why negative self-talk and self-sabotage often can go hand in hand. Meaning that if the self-talk is negative, then it is more likely unconscious sabotage towards any attempt at change.
*Lacking Self-confidence- People with victim mentality may struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence, making the feelings of victimization even worse. They might even think things like, “I am not smart enough to get a better..” or “I am not talented enough.”.
This outlook on life may keep them from growth, developing natural skills or being about to identify and nurture new strengths and abilities that can help them achieve goals and aspirations.
Even those who try to succeed, but then fail may see themselves as a victim of circumstances again. The negative perceptive that they see themselves in can make it harder to see any other possibility.\
* Full Of Frustration, Anger, And Resentment- Feelings of being a victim can take its toll on a person emotional well-being.
Having this mindset might feel is if:
*Angry and frustrated with the world, thinking it is against them
*Feelings of hopeless because circumstances are never changing
*Feeling hurt, thinking that love ones do not care
*Can be resentful of others happiness and success
*Can be resentful of people who seem happy and successful
These feelings tend to build and fester if not addressed because these emotions can drag a person, who believes will always be a victim, down.
Over time, this can contribute to:
Even though this is not a normal article topic for me, I feel that sharing this information can help a lot of people out. I have known people with this mindset and it can disrupt another person energy just as well as they do themselves.
From a person on the outside looking in, I see pain and uncertainty, for I do not know who would willingly put themselves in this mindset. I feel like this can ruin relationships, both family and friends. This can bring on so much hurt and distrust that bridges may never be repaired.
I do hope this can reach somebody who can either find solace in not being alone in this experience or if you have this mindset, you can find yourself ready to grow into a person you can love!
Leave a comment of you have experienced this behavior, an opinion, or have any recommendations for another topic! I can not wait to read them!
*Part 2 will continue on with this topic with its causes, what can we do and what the person with this mentality can do!
With Much Love