What is Self-Love?
First of all, self-love DOES NOT make you a self-centered human with a narcissism problem. I can only think that a selfish person who was gaslighting someone, made that up AND everybody selfish enough to share it, DID.
Self-love is when you have high regards for your own well-being and happiness. It means taking care of your own needs first and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love is simply not settling for less than what you deserve.
Having self-love requires you to care of yourself, as if you were YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. Treat yourself kindly WITHOUT nitpicking and criticizing. For many, like myself, growing up where love is lacking or very up and down, makes loving yourself take work. Self-love is a practice and it’ll take work, but it is COMPLETELY worth it!
To have love for yourself does not mean you are the smartest, riches, most talented and beautiful person in the whole wide world! Instead, it is when you accept yourself no matter what your so-called weakness is and appreciating those short comings as something that makes you who you are. For when you Learn TO love yourself, you learn to also have COMPASSION for yourself.
Self- love is NOT about instant gratification and a new pair of shoes OR eating your favorite dessert that might make you feel better for that moment, but just like the bill or the morning after stuffing your face, that feeling does not last long. This can actually be damaging in the long run. Self-love means giving yourself what it really needs mind(brain), body and soul; for the whirlwind that is LIFE. The practice of Self-love is simple, it is the nourishment of yourself.
So let’s see what we can do TOGETHER on learning how to love yourself!
Me, Myself and I – My Self-Loving Journey
I am without a doubt still practicing this. I DO have to keep on ACCEPTING to love every imperfection and have constant compassion for myself because let’s face it, I can be very hard on myself! Its really hard to accept yourself when you were not shown how to do that. It is really hard to show compassion to yourself when there is no compassion shown around you.
I have come to realize that this has become a form of cycle that ends up eating at you from the inside out. I have seen many reactions people can have when this cycle is active in one’s life. I have seen a person emotionally blank (where they are hiding behind a form of shield), I have seen a person so thirsty for love that they would take anyone (no matter what) or have such low opinion of myselves, just to name a few. I have experiences settling for less because it was ‘better’ then being by meself. I WAS better than being lonely.
Hitting rock bottom was the WORST and BEST thing that ever happened to me and I am going to show you what I do to keep growing in LOVE with MYSELF!
Hopefully these 10 tips can help you too!
10 Tips On Self-Love
1. Learn To Have Fun By Yourself – It is very important that you spend some quality time doing something just for you. Doing something fun can teach you how to enjoy your OWN company and therefore you can become more confident doing it on your own! This includes but is not limited to taking yourself out to the movies, dinner or trying something COMPLETETLY different! Nothing says a ‘bonding experience’ as doing a couple of ‘firsts’ with yourself!
2. Travel Once A Year- If you are anything like me, that is NOT in the budget, BUT it will be! It will be something completely out of my comfort zone! I will not only learn new things about myself but quite possibly another culture. This will also give us a break from our normal routine. So if you can, DO! If not, we wait until we can!
3. Forgive Yourself Of Any Mistakes Made- Start reflecting on mistakes made in the past and start the process of forgiving them. Remember that the past are but lessons that you LIVED THROUGH. They were not made to hold you CAPTIVE. Loving yourself despite any mistakes made, is to love yourself through ANYTHING.
4. Surprise YOURSELF- Trying things out, letting go of control and saying yes to things you would normally say no to, will help you get to know yourself THAT much more! You may find things that you had no idea you would enjoy because it is out of your comfort zone. Trying things that you never realized or tired before is a sure way to connect on a deeper level because it is another layer of YOU! So go on and give yourself a big surprise!
5. Making A Vision Board- Having a visualization of your goals is a GREAT way to keep yourself motivated and excited about your future! Keep focus on your dreams while you start to love LIFE and YOURSELF!
6. Pursuing Any New Interests- Try something new you have wanted to do for a while, or possibly have been scared to do! You can never know what you might enjoy until you try it! So think of a new hobby or go to a new place you wanted to go to!
7. Love Yourself By Challenging Yourself- Challenging yourself has dual purposes! You will be getting to know yourself AND also what you are capable of! Perhaps you are a singer, but of course its just a hobby and you have stage fright BUT you have daydreams of singing on stage and letting it out! Well book that gig, OR start off slow and do some karaoke with an open stage! Who knows, maybe booking a gig will be next!
8. Celebrate Your Achievements- Yes you can list your achievements, but celebrating them really cements what it is you have achieved. Sharing the experience, being proud and telling others of this accomplishment will give credit, where credit is due. This feeling will elevate the feeling of self-worth astronomically. Go get that credit, you deserve it!
9. Work On Your Self-Trust- Practice the art of trusting your own instincts. You are most likely going to know what is best for you and you need to learn how to trust yourself and listen. In order to trust another you need to learn how to trust yourself FIRST. This is an important step to self-love (I am still learning, but I am listening more everyday!)
10. Always Take Care Of Yourself- Get you an activity that you do deliberately to take care of your mental, emotional and physical health. My main activity was the gym (outside this quarantine!) and it actually manages to cover all three! Taking care of yourself can lead to you being the BEST version of yourself!
The End Is Never Ending
I have grown so much since starting my journey a little over a year ago and practicing these steps have saved me more times than I can count. I can not begin to tell you how many times I have strayed off course or thought I would never find
my way back. Yet, here I am and here I will stay, even if it’s just until I walk further along my path. We can stumble and waver on our journey, but NEVER give up! For the only person that can give up is you.
The journey to Self-Love is within us ALL, so choose YOU!
And Keep Being AMAZING!