Parents With Children On The Autism Spectrum

What Is Autism? – A Mother’s Tale

Spread the love

I will like to start off with this:

This is about my struggles and tribulations with my beautiful boys who happen to be clinically diagnose with being on the Autism Spectrum; both at an extremely young age.  No two cases are the same (case in point, my two boys), but I would love to be able to share and discuss my research or experiences with you. This place is intended to be a place of LOVE, COMFORT and SUPPORT.

So any negativity will not be tolerated. I do not condone putting anyone down or let hate of any kind lead a discussion. We are here to grow and be a better PARENT then the one we were yesterday. We are here to learn from people who are just like us; parents of children with Autism.

What is Autism? A Mother’s Tale will start off a NEW CATEGORY under My Post tab!! My boys showing me and hopefully someone else that even though they need more attention and focus, the unconditional love is there, that it will always be there. 

So do not hesitate to comment or start a discussion! Do not be afraid to ask questions and/or answering anyone else’s. We are a COMMUNITY here and I welcome all 🙂

What is Autism?

Autism Spectrum Disorder also known as ASD, is a neurodevelopmental condition that effects how one views the world. It is a complex lifelong disability that can appear during early childhood. Symptoms can generally appear in the first two years of a childs’ life and affect communication, social skill, relationships and self-regulations (emotions and/or behavior). This makes Autistic people see, hear and feel the world differently than other people.

Autism is a NOT an illness or disease, nor can it be ‘cured’. It is a spectrum condition meaning that some people are affected more or less than others. Here are a couple of examples:

  • Some autistic people cannot use spoken language, while some use their spoken language beautifully.
  • Some can relate to non autistic people, while others find it difficult to understand what the other people mean.
  • While one can be introverted (in their own heads/reality), another person can be extroverted ( sociable)

Even though autistic people share common differences, like how they hear and feel the world, they also have different STRENGTHS and ABILITIES. Therefore, challeneges would also be different to each and every autistic person. This will affect their lives in different ways, at different ages and also in different environments.

Like I had  mentioned earlier, no two people on the spectrum are the same. As a developmental condition, autism looks different at different ages. Also the symptoms of autism in childhood, middle childhood, teenagers and adults will be different.

Some autistic people also have other types of disabilities such as Intellectual disabilities, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and/or learning difficulties. There are also some with mental health issues, most common issues being anxiety and depression.

The difference between an individual in terms of their autistic traits and the impacts of these other conditions mean that everyone will need different levels of support. I am glad to say that with the right level of support, a lot more people with autism can be lead into having fulfilling lives!!

DSM- V –The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders on Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

DSM- V has defined Autism Spectrum disorder as “persistent difficulties with social interaction” and “restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviors, activities or interests”, this also includes sensory behavior. This is presented since early childhood extending to “limit and impair everyday functioning”. The child in question will need to have met these criteria to be given a formal diagnosis of ASD.

This is also why some people who exhibit some but not all of these features and people who have learned to manage their autism  in a environment that is familiar will have difficulties getting a formal diagnosis. Hopefully all people can benefit from the same help as the one who are formally diagnosis.

Mom of Two Autistic Boys

My name is Brendaliz and I am a mother of two wonderful autistic boys and I am here to speak about what I go through; my fears, downfalls and victories. Things I have or will go through, all experiences will be shared. This is a difficult topic, but I will be as transparent as I possibly can because I know how it feels to be lost and have no one who can really understand the feelings and sacrifices you make every day for your baby or babies as me 🙂 .

I will talk about the beginnings journey, early intervention, schooling, social awareness, potty training, routines, teaching achievements and pitfalls, etc. I

will talk about things you (my amazing writers) ask me and the other amazing readers! I am here to help YOU, help ME, for we are all in this TOGETHER!! 

Our children need SOMEONE helping them face the challenges that are right in front them with love and patience. They need to be secure in the love shown because as much as we get frustrated, imagine not being able to communicate what is causing such emotions. Not being able to understand your peers or to not be understood. I feel like they just want to be assured and loved.

I am NOT PERFECT, but I will continue everyday to be better than yesterday.  I know they’re people out there who are killing it in this arena, and all I have to say is….care to stop by and share your experiences, oh gifted one? (No sarcasm, I am super serious!)

I know that as a mother, parenting never stops and the more we share amongst ourselves, the better we equip ourselves for the challenges WE face too. As they face theirs, we face our own set of issues and heartache… but we also face such PRIDE when we smash through obstacles and persevere!!

SO SHOUT out to the parents who won’t back down, who stand up for theirs and for giving them the love that they deserve. We are the heroes in their heads!! We all have different views and routines and that is what I am counting on as I write this post. I am counting on the parents coming together, sharing insights and showing support because we need what we give our children; love and support too!

So Much Love

Brendaliz

Proud Mom of Two Autistic Boys

 

 

 

 


Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

You may also like...

16 Comments

  1. Hi Brendaliz,
    I’m a teacher who has dealt with autistic children for many years. Your article is very accurate and helpful to parents and teachers alike. Please keep up your good work

    1. Hello Marketa!
      I am glad you approve, especially being in the educational field, your opinion is appreciated!
      I am grateful to be able to share my experiences and lessons!
      I also love to help people and I know what it feels to feel alone and lost in information! So I try my very best!
      Thank you!!

  2. Joy says:

    hello very good review you have here and it really caught my attention i just had to know more about this and while scrolling down i also got to find out that it is developmental disability that causes significant social behavioral challenges i really hope more people gets to see this cause i didnt know about this until now and i know its going to help me thanks for sharing this important information with us 

    1. Brendaliz says:

      Hello Joy!! 

      Thank you for taking the time to learn something new! I agree that this is something more people should spread the word about because it will spread awareness! 

      I am really glad that you took something from this article as that was my intention! 

      Thank you for the comment and spread the word!

      Keep Being AMAZING 

  3. Darrin says:

    Hi Brendaliz! I have at least two family members that have ASD, at least one of which appears to have the form classified as Aspergers. Do they consider Aspergers part of the broader classification of ASD? I was thinking they do. The reason I’m saying that the one family member “appears” to have that disorder is because they’ve never been clinically diagnosed. It’s my older sister and her grown son clearly has ASD. The difficulty with, say, my sister’s situation for instance, is that she is brilliant on one level. She was a chemist. She was a school teacher. She taught music. Not one job lasted her long enough to make a career out of it. I just feel so bad for her because other family members (not all of them) thinks she is deliberate with her problems and selfish. Also, she self-medicated for so long (later in life) that she’s known for being one who abuses drugs. And you know how much of a grip that can have on a person. She also has a toxic self-awareness of every pain or sensation she feels and thinks she is dying from every disease. I should also say that she was first in pre-med in school before becoming a chemistry student. So, she constantly studies illnesses and diseases and all the related symptoms and has a fixation on everything medicine, sickness, etc… One of the things that makes it difficult to address her situation is because she is so intelligent. I’m sure you understand what I mean. I believe it is hard for her to accept that one of those conditions exists in her life. My mother and I have reassured her that there is nothing to be ashamed of, and on the other hand, if we can get clarity of her condition, we can all better help her. She stays sick and depressed and the doctors cannot pinpoint a disease or cause. Could it be related to ASD or Aspergers? 

    Thank you so much for your informative post! 🙂 I hope the best for you and your boys as you continue on a successful journey and learn about all of this together. That’s what I want to do with my sister, even though we’re only discovering her’s late in life.

    Darrin

    1. Brendaliz says:

      Hey Darrin!

      As I was reading your comment I understand the pain of watching someone you love confused and not understood. I am not a professional at all but because I have had to do a lot of research on this, I do know that autism in females are so much tougher to diagnose and that a lot more do not get the help they need because of it. People on the spectrum, depending on where they land can be super smart in certain areas because they find it so interesting it becomes a focus of sorts. Also, when you mentioned that she is super sensitive to pain can indicate that she is like my oldest, suffers from sensory overload, which basically means one or more senses experience over-stimulation from the environment. 

      An adult with ASD are medically treated differently then children. So I would, ask a professional first for their advice. Have you tried seeing a behavioral therapist? Sometimes, because she is already an adult, that is generally where she would receive treatment of sorts. 

      Please let me know how everything goes! I wish you and your family the BEST.

      Keep Being AMAZING 

  4. Andy says:

    Hi Brandaliz, thank you for sharing your situation and experience. We have a special needs daughter but it is a completely treatable cleft lip and cleft palate. We did have to add speech therapy for a few years as we adopted her at age 2 and the condition had not yet been connected and she had started to make speech sounds so was already developing compensating habits that had to be unlearned. But I am sure this is nothing like the experience of being parents to children on the spectrum. By the sounds of things, the boys are still young. If there is one area that might be of consolation to you, there is a lot more awareness these days among forward-looking employers that employees on the spectrum often develop certain specific skills much more than others. Also, employees on the spectrum bring a different perspective to teams in the workplace and all work teams benefit from diversity, I not suggesting that each of your boys is necessarily going to develop skills like the Duston Hoffman character in Rainman, but you may well find that they do develop their own unique passions that could develop into a high degree of skill that could actually end up being useful to them in the world of work. I have been involved in conferences on this subject and as I say this is an area that is gaining more and more acceptance and interest among progressive employers. I wish you and your family all the very best. Kind regards, Andy

    1. Brendaliz says:

      Hello Andy! 

      Thank you for that! I am so grateful that at this day and age, there are so many reliable resources and studies being conducted that I was amazed. 

      My sons are so smart! The difference that it has made, with therapists and special schools, it is still hard but at least they are designing environments for them and it WORKS!

      So I do believe that the work place is also making space for diversity and it makes all the good in this world bigger and better every day!

      Thank you for taking the time out and commenting, I greatly appreciate it!

      Keep Being AMAZING 

  5. Kelly Smith says:

    Hi Brendaliz, thank you for writing about such a difficult topic…difficult in the aspect that you are being vulnerable as a parent by bringing your thoughts and struggles to the forefront. I know it can be hard, but as a parent of boys who all have quite different personalities, I love the fact you are writing a blog and opening up your page to all parents;  parents who struggle, but for those who also have learned and are willing to give advise. Thank you!

    1. Brendaliz says:

      Hello Kelly!

      Yes this is a very difficult subject for me. In fact, as I am writing my second article, it was so hard, I actually teared. What’s harder is going threw all this and wondering If I was doing an okay job or if I could have done better. Plus I too would love to hear what others would have to say and what advice they would give me.

      Thank you for understanding how hard it can be and I hope to hear from you more on my page! All parents are welcome, for parenting is hard for all! 

      Keep Being AMAZING 

  6. Dave says:

    Hi Brendaliz, I appreciate you and all the mothers, as well as dads, for being strong and doing all you can to take care of your special kids. It takes more courage, confidence, love, and thick skin to bring them up to become adults. A lot of sacrifices you have made cannot be told here but I know there is more you are doing than you tell, and on behalf of everyone, I say thank you. You make the world look like heaven for your boys and only a few mothers get to do that for their special kids. We need more mothers like you across the world. Good luck.

    1. Brendaliz says:

      Hello Dave!

      Thank you so much for that! Yes it can be such a hard journey but it can be so worthwhile! My sons are considered non verbal but I can remember the first word my older one spoke, the first hug voluntarily given, or the first I love you… My youngest is well on his way and all the therapists, tantrums, tears (on both end) etc, are worth it!

      This is just the first in many articles I will be writing about. This will be my journey with my boys and all I have learned and gained, but also the hardest things I encountered too. It will cover pretty much all things involving the Autism Spectrum and my vision is parents joining together in a nonjudgement zone ready to teach, ask and listen to one another!

      Thank you for your support and I hope you will come back for my second article, which is in the making! It is taking super long because it is becoming a lot harder to write than I expected, emotion wise!

      Keep Being AMAZING

  7. Vinayak says:

    Dear Brendaliz,

    After reading your article I would say that I know that you are STRONG and I am sure that you will be EVEN STRONGER, you will definitely be able to bring out immeasurable potential lying within yourself within your beautiful boys. You will find an indefinite reserve of love within your heart that will never end and will definitely bring a change not in just your life but in the lives of all of us as we are in this together. Always, keep believing in yourself. I wish that you get everything that you dream of and you dream with great creativity.

    All the best wishes,

    Vinayak

    1. Brendaliz says:

      Hello! 

      Thank you so much for that! It is crazy difficult but when they start accomplishing milestones or doing activities that they could not do before, it makes it so much sweeter! When my oldest son started showing affection to me, it lifted my spirit and I knew that together we can do ANYTHING,  no matter how HARD is gets. 

      The harder it is to get something, the greater the appreciation! So, I have built my strength little by little, and gained the courage to grow and now I want us all to grow together. 

      My intention is a community where we all grow by learning from one another! I hope to hear from you again for your words brought me such peace!

      Keep Being AMAZING 

      Brendaliz

  8. Lynne says:

    Hi Brendaliz, thank you for sharing this article on parenting autistic children. My children are not special needs and it is a difficult job already without any added complications. I know a few mothers that have special needs children and from what I can see it is really hard for them to escape the stigma and to get support from other parents. You are so right, there should be no judgement and we need to accept each other and help each other through this parenting journey .

    1. Brendaliz says:

      Hello!! 

      Thank you so much for your words! I am totally not excluding anyone, so your more then welcome to stop by and fall into a discussion! And your friends to are more than invited too! Yes, it’s title is for children of the autism spectrum, but the spectrum is so board that I believe many parents with children who have disabilities can feel comfortable and supported here too! 

      Being a PARENT alone is so difficult and thank you for recognizing that it can be more so on our end, but the unconditional love does not change! 

      Thank you once again for your time and comment, Lynne! I hope to hear from you again!

      Keep Being AMAZING 

      Brendaliz

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *