My Inner Wellness Journey

Overcoming Fears Of The Unknown

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I feared many things over my LIFETIME. Just thinking about living the rest of that lifetime in the same state is scary. In this time, I was able to overcome some and others; well, lets just say that it is a work in progress. Life could also decide for you that its time to cross a specific path and overcoming fears will be the only way to do it (Been there and done that). But I will be taking you on my road of overcoming something extremely stressful in my life right now.

Yessir, at the moment I am battling my own COLOSSAL fear. Blogging and sharing my thoughts make me hyperventilate and it’s a sweating inducing endeavor. I mean, think about it. Your very thoughts are being consumed and criticized on a daily basis; and a lot of online people are way more vocal on the net than to your own face. They can also be extra mean.

So I hope you take this post to heart, because from what I learned, fear BLOCKS you from being the best that you can be. It can also block you from growth and lessons to be learned. Personally, I love me some lessons, if it came out of a bad situation. You appreciate it a heck of a lot more but, I digress.

Come along with me, as I walk through overcoming fears of the unknown. In my case the big, bad blogging world.

What is fear?

Fear is an emotion where one feels anxiety and uneasiness caused by being afraid of a person, place or thing (you can be afraid of multiple aspects at once). You can be afraid of ANYTHING in life. Fear is an invisible entity that grabs you by the throat and leaves you practically frozen. It can also bring on your flight or fight response. Fear is a very powerful emotion. Out of all the emotions, this is the one that can freeze you in place while other emotions can propel you onward. To me fear is necessary, a way of survival. It can save a life or it can destroy it. But when it impacts your ability to grow, that’s when fear becomes the ENEMY.

Working Though Ones Fear

Before I can move forward on blogging or any type of none traditional fields, I first had to work through my fears as it has been keeping me back for so long. I have always been somewhat reserved and for some reason, really shy. But when will it be enough? Could I continue this way, in fear? Living with only those closes to me can hear me (if they chose to).

The more time I lived in fear, the worst I felt. All the want in the world would not let this fear leave me be and also did not let me GROW as I should be.

“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.” Buddha

The Day It All Changed

Soooo one morning, I decided NO MORE. I fired up my internet search bar and researched “Fear”. I needed a way to OVERCOME it, so that it did not HINDER my future. You future is already in a delicate balance as it is. Give yourself a break, but do not use that break as a way to not achieve your goals of FREEDOM. I do not want to live in a lie created by me. I yearn to live in MY truth.

So I wrote down a couple of steps I thought relevant to me and maybe can be a helpful tool to you too. These helped me to work through my fear, so that instead of living in IT, I lived within my truth instead.

Tips to Work Through Your Fear and START living:

1. Allow yourself to sit and be in the fear for 2-3 minutes at a time. Breathe with it and say, “It’s okay.”, repeat if necessary. The idea behind this is almost the same as self affirmation. This can eventually train your thoughts into believing it is okay, even if and when you move forward.

2. Writing down the things you are grateful for. Anything that can distract your mind from your fear. This can also replace the feeling of fear with the things you are grateful for.

3. Exercising is a great way to work though your fear. It gives you a way to take your mind off of things; while giving an out to the build up of energy your fear creates in you. It is called anxiety.

4. Using humor to deflate your worst fears gives you back a sense of control over your anxiety. Control even, if its an illusion, gives you power.

These 4 tips were important to helping me to jump start my plans, without all the embarrassing reactions. This only works if you put EVERYTHING you have on the table. It can be really easy to get LOST in the planning stages and never progress to the execution stage, which I spoke about in my previous post Beauty In The Raw – Glow Up. I believe it is mostly your flight response taking over; as it did for me whenever I failed to execute a plan of action anyway. Everyone has their own demons, so who’s to say why we give up, right?

Being fearful only helps when we give in. The power it holds in its grasp is only there because it is given freely by us. Therefore, it can ONLY be taken away by the very ones who hand it over.

So, who wants to take back power? Because to be honest, there’s not much we control throughout our lives; why not control WHAT WE CAN.

Taking back OUR POWER

Not to get things twisted, I am still TERRIFIED of failing. At times, I get bombarded with thoughts of how much money and time I have spent going down this road and there it goes, shallow breaths and sweaty palms and pits. I still have to go through my list almost DAILY to settle the breathing problem I have developed since starting my online blogging (You can laugh, it’s OK).

It gets easier, or I refuse to believe it doesn’t. Either way, I am going to go through with this until the very end. And THAT my friends, is how you take back power. That is how you KEEP strong against the forces of fear…

Come on this road with me, its less scary if we traveled in groups.

With Much Love


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  1. Karina says:

    Hello Brendaliz, this post puts me at ease. I have ptsd so I want to thank you for writing this. I felt calm reading it and took a step back to realize that everything will be ok for me. I’m looking forward to more posts. You’re doing a great job!

    1. This made my soul feel at ease! I am so glad to be able to help. PSTD is serious and I do not take lightly such a comment! Thank you so much and I hope to hear from you soon!
      Much Love

  2. Minaher says:

    Oh, I can quite unerstand fear, of failing especially. But, as long as one keeps trying, there’s a good chance of successeeding. I’ve got once a very good advice on writing an article-it said: do it as if you were talking to a friend of yours. Sure you wouldn’t be scared to share your thoughts with a friend, would you? And, if there are mean critics out there being harsh on your thoughts-it’s much more of those who highly appreciate you sharing them, as I and many of your readers do. A very nice, honest text, keep on writing more like this.

    1. Your words filled me to the brim with great energy and I really appreciate all your kind words. They fill me with the excitement and passion to feed my determination and I just love this flow of energy:)
      Please keep it going!
      Until Next Time My Friend

  3. I was just thinking about how I need to get into my unknown space and be okay. I get soooo lost in my thoughts of trying to figure it all out and it just piles on the stress. This was such a good read and necssary.Thank you so much. I got to add this to my morning read to get me back into this empowering space.

    1. Hello Fiona! Yes the unknown is scary but it can be scary GOOD too!! I completely understand about getting lost in your head while stress builds or getting lost in your head because of stress build up!!
      Thank you for taking time out of your day and spending it with me!
      One thing I wanted to do with this is empower people and you made my day saying I helped you!!
      Until Next Time My Friend

  4. I feel empowered after reading your post. I wish you all the best to your future endeavors. Thank you!

    1. Thank you Richard! Those are the type of things I love hear!! Being empowered through my words makes ME feel empowered! Made my day!!
      Until Next Time

  5. Joel says:

    Hello Brendaliz .That was truly a fantastic post i felt every word you wrote down . I can use your post as a way of overcoming my fears i have in my daily life ..Your post has me very relaxed and can read it over an over . Thank you for a great post and keep up with the great work . Looking forward to more of your work in the future !!!

    1. Thank you so much Joel! Just knowing I helped one other person fills me with so much joy!Thank you for your support! It will always be appreciated!

      Until Next Time

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